Lost In This Moment

Lost in This Moment
with John Legend
I heard this song this morning on the radio and absolutely loved it!! It reminded me of our wedding day and brought back a bunch of special memories and reminded me of the commitments we made that day and the beauty the Lord has provided over the last four years in our marriage!!

Thank you, Jesus, for this man you've chosen for me!!

STILL Cancer FREE

Well, I don't know if anyone ever comes to the blog anymore since it's been so long, but thought we would post an update anyway!

Ben just got back yesterday from MD Anderson...still Cancer FREE!! Thank you, Jesus!! They saw something in his galbladder and asked if he was in any pain (assuming it might be a gallstone). He's not in any pain. Anyway, doc wants him to have an ultrasound soon to check on that. However, no cancer! Thank you, Lord!!

Ben has started a new job! It's so perfect for him. Ben has decided against dental school for the time being. He felt the Lord leading him in another direction and it's been amazing to watch. He works for Northwestern Mutual as a Financial Rep.

He said all along with dentistry that he loved it because of the relationships and the fact that he felt like he was touching lives (one smile at a time)! However, this new position allows him to develop relationships, but he's able to affect family trees rather than just smiles. So, he is seeing the long-term impact and loving it!!

We have also told our agency that we need to wait an extra month on the referral. Referrals should begin coming in within the next few days, but we haven't had the opportunity to save up everything we need to say yes or even finish filling out applications for grants. We really want to get to the bottom of whatever this is with my health before we say yes to anything, as well. So, a July referral might be more likely.

Thank you for those of you that are still checking the blog! We sure appreciate your prayers.

God's Overwhelming Faithfulness!

"...the borrower is slave to the lender." Proverbs 22:7

Well, might I say, "Wow!?"

More importantly, God is so faithful!! I know it's been a while since I've written. I intended to stop updating this blog since Ben is feeling so much better. However, one of the prayer requests that we posted in February has been answered and we want to share God's faithfulness and thank you for praying!

We have been in prayer about how to pay off our debt. We are following Dave Ramsey's plan to get out of debt. It is such a blessing as it gives you the appropriate steps to take to make a real impact. If you have any debt or just want to be wise with your finances, check out his site www.daveramsey.com

We still owed a considerable amount on my school loans at the beginning of the year. When we did the math, it appeared that we might be able to make an impact by May. However, this worried us because we should receive a referral for our little Korean baby around this time. At that point, we will owe around $25K. So, we really wanted to find a way to get the debt paid off long before then so that we could start making attempts to save for the adoption.

So, our prayer was to get this debt knocked out by Mid-March (which seemed near impossible)...Praise Jesus, He allowed us to pay it all off yesterday! God has taken care of us and provided quite a few surprises from a larger than expected tax return to a bonus from work that was much greater than it has ever been...God is so faithful!

Thank you all for praying. He answered your prayers! We appreciate you sitting at His feet on our behalf. Now, let's pray for ways to save, save, save, so that we can get that little one home!!!

p.s. Please be in prayer for Ben as he is at an interview this morning and is hoping to have another one next week!!

Progress?

Well, I want to post with great updates. It's been a bit of a rough week, though. I had to cancel my biz trip that was scheduled for this weekend. So, I'm really praying for my boss' support now. I'm just still having episodes. I actually went five days without any episodes. PRAISE JESUS!! Then, I had one on day 6. I had one yesterday and one this morning. So, it's a bit frustrating. I'm ready for none of these! My goal is seven days without any before I go back to work. The doc seems to think that exertion plays a role in these occurring. So, I'm trying to be careful, but at the same time, he wants me to increase my exertion so that I'm ready to get back to work (where it's exertion all day).

Ben is doing very well. He's busy searching for a full-time job right now. He mowed, cleaned his truck, etc., last weekend and feels great! So, this blog may be coming to an end since it was originally designed to update everyone on Ben.

Thank you for all of your prayers!

Overdue

Well, we're overdue for an update. So sorry I've become so slow at them. Things have been crazy around here. Thursday was the first day in over three weeks that I didn't have a doctor's appt. I have literally had a doc appt. every single day since I went on Short Term Disability.

The cool thing is that God has truly been answering prayers and we're checking things off our list. Thank you, Lord! We felt very selfish asking so specifically. However, we have learned through asking specifically God can truly get the glory. It's so cool to watch.

So, I will do my best to update everything that has been going on over the last few weeks. Here is the prayer list and how the list is getting checked off:

Prayers:
*That Ben will hear from dental school so that we know if he is in or not. This will help us to determine his job search, etc.
Ben got a call on Tuesday from a dental school for an interview. He will interview this next Tuesday. They receive 3000 applications, interview 400, and accept about 50. Please pray for his interview.

*That Ben will be able to get a full-time job by March 1st that will begin to provide for our family.
He has heard from a pharma company that will begin the interview process the 25th of this month. Obviously, the interview with the dental school with have some weight in this, but pretty cool!!

*That we will find a way to make a big dent in our student loan debt.
Holy Wow! God is so good! Let's just say that we didn't think we could knock these out completely until next year. The Lord has provided considerably and based on the math we've done, we think we should have them knocked out by mid-March! Wow, LORD! You are so amazing!! This also allows us to start focus on saving for the adoption much sooner than planned.

*That we will get solid answers to what is going on with my health and we will find treatments that work and provide real results.
As far as my health goes, they are still convinced that it's mercury toxicity. Since I started the detox, I have had some great days. My goal is to go seven days without any episodes before I transition back to work. Last week, I went three days. Then, I had three days with some pretty serious episodes (only a few each day, so that's better than 15). I am now at the three day mark again. Thank you, Lord! I had a biz trip planned the 25th-2nd in Indy. I was afraid that I wouldn't hit the seven day mark in time for the trip and still have energy for seven days of intense training. So, we've rescheduled the trip. My heart rate has slowed considerably (another great thing)! The doc said he honestly didn't expect a response this quickly (he expected a couple of months before we saw real results), but he's calling me his poster child since my body is responding so quickly to the treatment.

*That my manager will be sensitive to my health issues and show understanding. He's an Ag, so he's a good guy, I just hate being out of work and stress myself out unnecessarily.
My boss has been awesome! Thank you, Lord! Please pray for blessings upon his family for his precious heart, support, and most importantly, his prayers through this. We're not sure when I will be able to go back, but he has been so wonderful! Such a blessing for my stressed out mind!!

*That the Lord will give Ben very clear direction on whether he is to finish chemo or not.
Let's just say we have had some pretty cool experiences. After the trip to MD Anderson, I was quite convinced that no doctor would support Ben stopping chemo. However, Ben had an appt. with his oncologist here last week. He is a Believer. Ben told him that he respected his medical expertise and he felt he had been cured. The doc said he was okay with Ben stopping at 3.5 rounds, but thought he should look into radiation. So, Ben met with the radiation oncologist. What an answer to prayer. In summary, the conversation went something like this, "I think you should do radiation b/c that's what the studies say. However, I'm a Believer, too, and from what you're telling me, I firmly believe the Lord has CURED you. So, I'm not going to hard sell you on radiation. I won't be disappointed if you choose not to do it. Oh, and here are all of the side effects..." So, as of right now, Ben feels that the Lord is telling him those treatments are over. He is still doing the Vitamin C IVs with our family practice doc. It's very cool stuff and we found out that Cancer Treatment Centers of America are about to do studies on these same treatments.

*That the CT will come back perfectly clear!!
We still have yet to hear from MD Anderson on Ben's CTs of his head and neck.

So, as you can see, God has been busy answering prayers! Thank you, Lord! We truly were hesitant coming with such specific prayers as we felt selfish and demanding. However, we have come to realize that by being so specific, we are setting it up that only God can get the glory for these awesome answers. It's so cool to be a part of a plan that you know you played no real role in...that it's all HIM!!

Thank you all for being prayer warriors and specifically lifting us up and praying that we can get this stuff checked off our lists! There is great relief and peace in checking all this off...thank you! Keep praying!!

trust Who?

"if I trust You, everything else will become, for me, strength, health, and support. Everything will bring me to heaven. If I do not trust You, everything will be my destruction."
-Thomas Merton

I'm stealing this from another blog, but our friend Creth had this on his blog yesterday and we see so much truth in it and wanted to share!

MD Anderson Update & prayers

I've needed to post an update since we left MD Anderson. So sorry that I haven't posted yet. We sent an e-mail to our Sunday School class with an update and prayer requests. Instead of rewriting everything, here is most of the e-mail.

**********************
Our precious prayer warriors-

You are so amazing to us! Can't tell you how much we appreciate your prayers! So, we wanted to send an update with prayer requests.

We got to MDA on Wednesday night and Ben did his CT scans. Friday, we met with the oncologist. The only CT that was back was his chest...it was CLEAR! Thank you, Jesus!! The head & neck CTs weren't back yet, though. So, we are supposed to call/e-mail on Monday to get the results. Obviously, the oncologist was not a fan of Ben stopping chemo. He wants him to either do radiation or finish the chemo. It's not that we expected him to say anything different.

However, as Ben's wife, I left a bit scared. Basically, because I love my husband and want to spend the next 100 years with him. At the same time, I know that I need to have faith. As we've told you all before about our spiritual gifts: Ben's list-#1 Faith & Last is mercy. My list-#1 Mercy & Last is Faith. So, I think I wanted the doc to tell Ben that it was a great idea, he was healed, and to have a nice cancer FREE life!!

As far as my health goes, they are pretty sure I have mercury toxicity and they've started me on a mercury detox. It seems to be making an impact as I went from having 15+ episodes each day to maybe 1-4. So, obvious improvement! However, my heart rate is still crazy. They have me on meds to slow it down and resting it is still 96-100+ beats per minute. Standard is 60-80 bpm. We've got to get that slowed down some more.

The other pieces of our puzzle are the adoption and Ben's full-time work vs. dental school. We have both spent considerable time in prayer and are content with telling the adoption agency that we need to say "Whoa," not No. We just don't know that we'll be completely ready by May (when they expect referrals to start coming through). It could be eight months or it could be eight years until Ben gets in to dental school. So, he wants to get full-time work to support our family in the meantime.

Is anyone else as tired as I am?

After a lot of time in prayer and tears on Friday, our biggest request is that we can start to check things off our list. I am just becoming so overwhelmed with all that is going on and need to take something off of the list. Not just pray for it generically, but get it off the list!!! We realized that we have been praying for "Ben's job & health" & "my health" & "the adoption." However, we haven't said, "Lord, please provide a full-time job for Ben this month." Not that we can put time lines on the Lord, but we feel that we need to ask more specifically. So, will you pray with us that we can begin to check things off our list?

Prayers:
*That Ben will hear from dental school so that we know if he is in or not. This will help us to determine his job search, etc.
*That Ben will be able to get a full-time job by March 1st that will begin to provide for our family.
*That we will find a way to make a big dent in our student loan debt.
*That we will get solid answers to what is going on with my health and we will find treatments that work and provide real results.
*That my manager will be sensitive to my health issues and show understanding. He's an Ag, so he's a good guy, I just hate being out of work and stress myself out unnecessarily.
*That the Lord will give Ben very clear direction on whether he is to finish chemo or not.
*That the CT will come back perfectly clear!!

Wow, I feel so selfish now. Please send your requests our way so that we can pray specifically for you!!

God Bless You all!!

because of HIM,

Meredith & Ben

I owe you!

Well, I feel like I owe all of you an update. So sorry for the delay. Things have been CRAZY around our house.

We are in Houston right now for Ben's appointments at MD Anderson. Ben is doing well.

Where to start?

I'll try to go quickly through my stuff and end on the reason you are here, BEN!

I have had a doctor's appt. every single day of last week and this week. The overwhelming answer seems to be that I have severe mercury toxicity which is causing kidney damage. So, yesterday I started my mercury detox program. Praise Jesus, I didn't have an "episode" until 7:30pm. That's almost an entire day without one. I've been having up to 15 each day. So, thank you, Jesus! The one that I had at 7:30p was really bad, though. Ben was back having his CT at MDA and I could feel it coming. So, I tried to get in to the restroom quickly and as I walked in, I fell on the floor...I tried to catch myself on one of the doors and tore my finger up a bit. It was very scary and probably one of the most intense episodes I've ever had. Once I was on the floor in the bathroom, I realized it probably wasn't a great idea for me to have gone into a restroom by myself. Anyway, after a few minutes I was better. I had two more little ones before we went to bed, but they were quite minor. I had one this morning before I took my supplements, but seem to be doing well now! Thank you, Jesus for the healing you have provided so far!

Now, on to Ben, the reason you are here! He is doing very well! He had his CT last night and we meet with the doc on Friday at MDA. The biggest thing that has happened for us this week is the realization of where our prayers need to be placed. Once we posted the blog about Ben leaving chemo, this was a response we received from one of the greatest prayer warriors we know:

While reading the blog post, I got to the part about "our prayer is that there
is still no cancer". As I read that, a thought popped into my mind that I am
confident was the Holy Spirit speaking to me (I say that because there was so
much faith, complete certainty, and just plain matter of factness about it! A
total God thing!) -- the thought was "You don't need to pray that Ben is still
cancer free -- God has healed Ben. There is no cancer. Offer prayers of
thanksgiving and praise to God instead."

So, we have changed our focus and are praising the Lord that HE ALONE has healed Ben! Thank you, Lord, for healing my husband!! It is finished! He is healed.

Ben has started some treatments with our family practice doc this week that are impressive. It is IV Vitamin C. Government studies (National Institute of Health) are showing that IV (not oral) Vitamin C leaves 0.0% lymphoma cells and leaves 100% healthy cells. Thank you, Lord! So, Ben will have four Vitamin C treatments (every other week-like chemo). If nothing else, it's good for him!!!

So, please sit with us at the feet of our Savior and Praise Him for healing Ben!!!

Also, one of our prayers is for the appt. with the doc at MD Anderson tomorrow. Thank you all for being so faithful in prayer!! We love you!!!

THE Great Physician...

...has spoken!!!!

Yes, He has!

Ben has been in devoted prayer over the last few days as to the course of action he is supposed to take with the rest of his treatments. When we first started this process, he felt the Lord lay the number 4 on his heart. The docs have continued to push that he needs to complete six rounds because statistics show that most people need six rounds. So, Ben, being the rule follower that he is, was going to do six. We have also found that the longer patients take chemo, the greater their chances are of secondary cancers. Those secondary cancers are usually much worse than the original. They are typically leukemias and bone marrow based cancers.

When we got to chemo today, his appointment had been cancelled. Weird? We think not...

Sitting in the chair in the waiting room, he kept saying that he felt like he was being told to walk out. They were finally able to get him rescheduled and called us back for the treatment. Each time we go we request the same nurse because she is so amazing. She told us her secret...she prays while she pushes! She hits it the first time every time. Mary is a Believer and we just love her dearly!

So, Mary called us back and we went to Ben's chemo room. I could tell by the look on Ben's face that something wasn't right. Mary stepped out to get some stuff together. So, Ben and I took that opportunity to sit before the Lord and ask Him what HIS will was...we asked the Holy Spirit to be made known despite the decision that we made. We asked the Lord to make it very clear what we were supposed to do.

Ben just didn't feel confident at all about having the chemo done. After we prayed, we asked Mary to come over and talk to us. She said 75% of the people here don't want to be here, but the truth is, it's your choice. So, with a very unsure look on his face, Ben said, "go ahead and do it."

As Mary started to insert the IV, she had a problem with it. She had to pull it out and start over and she was so apologetic. She tried a second time. This time, when she pulled the needle out, it was bent. Ouch!! She's only allowed to poke twice and so she was going to have to get someone else to come do his IV. She walked away and Ben looked at me and said, "I'm not supposed to do this. This is the Lord. Let's go."

So, we gave everyone a hug and said our good-byes. As we got to the parking lot, Ben said, "Well, *Jane & Jenny came to know the Lord through this and I think that's why the Lord had me walk this road. Jesus had to suffer a lot more than I did, but I think that's why I was supposed to endure this." Wow! Still selfless even after all the attention he's been getting through this.

*names changed for protection ; )

We got in the car and called my Mom to tell her. Once Ben gave her the news, I got back on the phone, a complete basketcase (tears of joy that this is basically over), and told her Ben's statement on the way to the car. That's when she told us that Jane & Jenny were both baptized on Sunday (Jenny has Cerebral Palsy and communicates through sign language. Her pastor learned enough sign language that he could communicate with her while baptizing her)!! What awesome icing for this cake. It was just perfect confirmation that Ben had made the right decision!!

As I told Ben, I can't make this decision for you, but I will support you in whatever decision you make because I know that you sit at the feet of our Father daily! Today, the Lord gave each of us a peace that this was the exact direction HE had chosen. We just had to follow HIM!! Praise the Lord that I'm married to a man of such great faith that he's willing to follow the Lord even when others may criticize his decision.

Please pray for us as we leave next week to go to MD Anderson for Ben's follow up visit. Obviously, our prayer is that there is still NO CANCER!! We are also beginning to pray for the heart of the oncologist that he will be open to this decision. Everything seems to be about standard of care and statistics, but it's easy to forget that each person that makes up a statistic is a person with a soul, not just a number!!!

Ben will continue the Cantron and is going to start doing some Vitamin C IVs. There is a doc out here that does Cancer Wellness treatments. One of the most impressive treatments is the Vitamin C. Dr. Mark Levine, MD, with the National Institute of Health (Harvard Med Grad & John Hopkins residency) has done some impressive studies with IV Vitamin C and cancer. They are finding that the bioavailability of IV Vitamin C is 25 times that of Oral. That means you get what you need!! They have found in these studies that the cancer cells are demolished (0.0% cancer cell survival) and the normal, healthy cells are left strengthened. This is quite unlike chemo which kills so many of the good cells while trying to kill the bad ones. If there are no bad cells left, then it just goes to town killing the good stuff. This is what we've seen with Ben over the last three treatments as he has come home and vomited blood, been sick for days on end, etc.

So, this is the direction that we feel the Lord is calling us and we're off.....

Please be in prayer through this that the Lord will continue to get the glory HE deserves and that Ben's healing will be eternal. That the cancer will never come back. Yes, Lord!!

The Real Work

We get e-mails daily from our pastor in The Woodlands. Today's reminded me of all of you...awesome prayer warriors! Thank you for sacrificially praying for us. Just had to share:

The Real Work

I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.
Ephesians 1:16

Paul prayed for the Christians in Ephesus. Because he loved them, he prayed for them.

It’s that simple. Prayer is an act of love. It is an act of sacrificial love. If you are a follower of Jesus and you care about a person, then you pray for that person.

Paul prayed.

Paul prayed because he knew that prayer was the real work of ministry. Prayer was not a preliminary activity or an optional activity to Paul. Prayer was the main thing he did.

Because prayer accesses the power of God. Prayer accesses the heart of God. Prayer accesses the mind of God.

Prayer is not you and your resources reaching out to help someone. Prayer is you and God’s resources reaching out to help someone.

What’s bigger than that? What’s grander than that? What’s higher than that?

Prayer is important. It is vitally important. But it is not easy. It is a sacrifice. It takes time. It takes energy. It takes heart. If you pour your heart out for someone, you bleed inside. “Prayer is a sacrifice, a bleeding sacrifice.” (John Henry Jowett)

Furthermore, prayer is quite often unseen, unnoticed, unapplauded and unappreciated. But that’s OK. God sees. God notices. God applauds. God appreciates.

Because prayer is the main work of ministry.

Do you intercede in prayer for the people in your life? Do you frequently and fervently call out to God for your friends, your loved ones, your church? I hope so. I hope so.

Lives are changed because of the intercessors. History is changed because of the intercessors. History belongs to the intercessors.

Prayer is the real work.

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These daily e-mails are written by Jeff Wells, Sr. Pastor at WoodsEdge Community Church. To hear our weekly messages or to find out more about WoodsEdge please go to http://www.woodsedge.org/.

© 2007 WoodsEdge Community Church. All rights reserved. This article may be reproduced for any non-commercial use with proper attribution.

Precious Friends!

Wow! What wonderful friends we have....

Your patience amazes me. I know I have lagged miserably on getting the blog updated. It's been so crazy around here. However, not one of you has mentioned my slowness, just e-mailed or called to check in and make sure we are okay.

This last round of chemo was much better for Ben. They gave him every possible anti-nausea drug out there. So, we were able to avoid the vomiting he's experienced the last two treatments. He still felt pretty gross and was sick until about Wednesday. However, he is doing great now. We go back to MD Anderson at the end of this month for the 2/3 of the way through check-up (Thank you, Lord). So, Ben has five treatments remaining (2.5 rounds). He is so ready for them to be over. If you say the word "chemo" around him he starts to get nauseated. So, we try to avoid that conversation.

On a more exciting front, Ben has finished all of the classes required to apply for dental school and got like a 3.75 or something amazing last semester while taking 15 hours and kicking cancer in the toosh!! However, applications don't come out until the Fall for dental school and that would be to start classes in the Fall of '08. Obviously, there is no guarantee that he will even get in...So, he's looking for a full-time job. He's hoping to get into pharma/dental sales. I think he would be absolutely amazing in sales. He just cares so much about people and relationships. So, if any of you know of any sales openings anywhere, let us know. He's working to finish his resume today.

I am doing okay. My doc is still convinced that this is my thyroid. However, he wants to run a lot of tests and send me to see some different specialists, etc. So, he has requested that I go on Short Term Disability at work. Could have been the hardest decision I've ever made in my life. I love my job! However, they did an EKG on Monday (last one was in July) and found that whatever this is, it's starting to affect my heart. They've given me some meds to slow my heart down a little bit. They also gave me something to help me sleep (I haven't slept in two weeks).

I still have quite a bit of paperwork to knock out before I'm really "done" with work, but today is supposed to be my first day of Short Term Disability. My hope is that I can knock it all out today and Monday will be a real day to rest and start healing. I met with my manager yesterday in Tyler to discuss everything with him. He was very supportive. My doc said at least six weeks, but my goal is to get back as quickly as possible. My manager was very sweet and said he wants to know that I am better before he'll let me come back. He's not just going to let me jump back in if I'm not better. I am so far beyond ready to feel better. As I told someone the other day, when you've been nauseated for as long as I've been (since April '06), you want a baby in the end or something to show for it!!!

Well, I need to get to my work.

Thank you all for being such precious prayer warriors and praying knowing the Lord will answer!! Thank you also for your patience with me.

Love you all!

because of HIM!!!

Ben

I know that you are all ready to hear about Ben...sick of hearing about me!

Today was Chemo #4A. He did very well. He told the doc about how sick he's been after each treatment. The doc seemed to hear him this time and wrote all kinds of meds for him. He even wrote one for him that he said would help him forget things. He said that "associations" cause most of the sicknesses. Very true. If you say the word chemo, Ben gets nauseated. On the Friday morning of chemo, he starts to get the bad taste in his mouth that he usually gets from chemo. So, the doc said this would help to break that cycle.

When I picked Ben up tonight from chemo, he said he felt like he should be going into surgery. The medicine has just made him feel loopy.

A precious family from our Sunday School class brought dinner to us tonight. Such a blessing. Ben ate it up. Thank you, Lord! So, now we are just going to relax tonight and try to stay in from the yucky weather.

Thank you all for your prayers.

Super Prayer Warriors!!

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.

Matthew 21:22

Wow! You can't ever tell me that there isn't power in prayer. We have seen the power again this week (as if Ben's healing wasn't enough).

I went to the doctor first thing Monday morning. When I got there, he said he had spent the entire morning studying my chart trying to determine what in the world was going on...thank you, Lord, for a doctor that spends more time looking at the chart and trying to make a decision than the 10 minutes spent in the patient room. So, after all of the "alternative" solutions he had originally diagnosed me with, he said he felt that it was something other than that. He said he thinks my thyroid is overtreated. Wow! Could nine months of struggling for an answer be that easy. So, he wants me to back off my thyroid dose for two weeks, come back for labs, and see where we stand.

I got his permission to completely skip my thyroid meds today! Guess what? I didn't have an episode until after noon. This last week I've had up to fifteen each day. Today, I've only had three! Thank you, Jesus! He wants me to start back on my meds tomorrow, but I think I'm going to start at a really low dose and titrate up rather than starting high and titrating down. Lord, please let this be getting closer to a final answer. He said he doesn't think the thyroid explains everything, but that it is a root cause for many of the symptoms I am having and should address most of this.

So, please continue to be in prayer with us that we are moving in the right direction and that the episodes will continue to decrease. Please, Lord! Again, y'all are awesome prayer warriors! Thank you!!

Improvements!

Well, things have been a bit better. Praise the Lord!

Ben is feeling great though his white count was a bit low when he had his blood work done yesterday. So, we just have to be careful in public. He made breakfast this morning for us. He has been making breakfast for me all week. Such a sweet guy!

Ben also did some research yesterday about Rouleaux and how to treat it. He found a study that discussed pressure points in the body. It talked about how you can halt these episodes by applying pressure to certain spots on the body. So, each time I had an episode last night, Ben applied pressure to those spots and it seemed to shorten the episodes. My theory is that it is increasing blood flow to the extremities, therefore, helping to stop the process.

Also, I've had a friend that has been telling me about a product called Cell Food. It helps increase the oxygenation in your body. Since that is apparently the main issue, she recommended that we get some. I finally picked some up last night. I took the first dose last night and I haven't had any real episodes yet today. I've had a few moments that feel like I'm about to have one and then it goes away. Thank you, Jesus!

The one thing that is really annoying that is still going on is that my body shivers uncontrollably. I don't really feel cold, I just shiver. My hands and feet are cold since I'm not getting great blood flow there, but overall my body doesn't feel cold. Crazy, I know.

I have another appointment with my doctor first thing Monday morning. We'll see how things go.

Thank you all so much for being such precious prayer warriors through this. I am humbled by those of you that take time out of your day to lift us up in prayer!! Thank you!! May we be on the road to recovery!!

No More!!!

Well, today is a day I hope to never repeat again....

I have had 12 episodes so far. A bad day in the past has been five. Not today.

Ben is feeling great today. He hit his "good" day yesterday!! Praise the Lord because I don't know what I would do otherwise.

I started my treatment for these episodes on Tuesday. I received I.V. Vitamins. They told me possible side effects were increased energy. By the time I got home, I was absolutely exhausted and felt terrible. As I mentioned, yesterday was hard. Today was even worse. I was worked in to the doctor (his Nurse Practitioner) at lunch and they said I might be allergic to Vitamin C. So, they've had me cut all Vitamin C & Vitamin C containing products. Dear Lord, please bring relief with these changes. I had an episode while in the doctor's office today and tried to get the NP to come in time, but she made it for the very end and so she missed most of it. She got to see how hot I get and she was able to check my pulse and see how elevated it was, as well.

The bum deal is that the meeting I'm supposed to go to in Baltimore next week, I've had to cancel. The doctor doesn't want me to fly since they believe I am not getting oxygen to all of my extremities and the increases in altitude would create a hazard. So, that has been rescheduled. Praise the Lord I have a gracious boss that showed exceptional concern for me today. It's scary when you are sick. I want him to know how hard I work despite how yucky I feel. So, his graciousness & genuine concern was so appreciated!! He's an Ag!! Should have known he'd be amazing!

I go back to the doctor first thing Monday morning to follow up with him again and see if these changes we're making have any impact. Thank you all for your prayers!

Whew!

Well, today wasn't all I had hoped. I woke up feeling even worse than I did yesterday. I had a migraine on top of these episodes. I had to drive to Tyler for my meeting. The trip was tough because I just felt so yucky. Ben was precious and offered to ride with me since he was scared for me to drive out there by myself with the way I was feeling. However, we had some guys coming out this morning to fix some spots behind the fridge where there was a leak. So, he needed to stay.

Once I got there, it was one episode after the other. I kept having to step into the hallway. My legs, arms, etc., give out when I'm having these episodes and so I try to step away from everyone so as not to collapse on people or make a fool of myself. Each time I made it out the door and fell on the floor in the hallway...couldn't even make it to the ladies room. So, they were pretty bad today. I called the doctor's office. The call nurse said it was a negative reaction to the vitamin I.V. that I had yesterday. I just don't buy that since I've been having these episodes since April. So, I made an appt. to go in tomorrow to talk to the doctor to try to figure out why they were so bad today. Hopefully, they will have some answers because this is beyond frustrating.

Ben, on the other hand, is doing well today, it's Wednesday! This is the day he usually starts to get better from chemo. He worked his tail off today on the house. He cleaned the house, made dinner, etc. He's so awesome!! I don't know what I would do without him!

He and Mom even tried to devise a way to get to Tyler to pick me up so that I didn't have to drive back on my own. So sweet & wonderful! It was a rough trip back, but wonderful to come home to his arms and dinner that was ready and great!

I beg for your prayers that the doc can figure out what in the world is making these episodes worse and find a way to stop them. Thank you for lifting us up in prayer!!

May the Lord bless you!

Healing...

Well, I'm not sure as to where to begin. The day started out quite crazily. I went to my car about 7:30 am and it wouldn't start. We couldn't get it to turn over at all. Ben was too sick to get out and jump it. So, I had it towed. Turned out I needed a new battery. Good to discover today rather than tomorrow on my trip to Tyler. I finally got a rental so that I could get a little work in for the day. The rental was a 4Runner and it was such a rough ride that I was nauseated all day. Yuck! Anyway, the weekend was definitely a tease having so few episodes. They have been in full force today and making me quite sick. I spoke with the doctor's office this afternoon and they think it is definitely the Rouleau that I mentioned previously that is causing this because it keeps my extremities from getting the oxygen they need. That is why my hands, feet, head, etc., start to tingle, why I get so nauseated, and why my memory has been so drastically erased. It's pretty scary, but I'm trying to keep pushing.

I finally got my car back this evening. Ben is feeling better though he wore himself out by putting away every single Christmas decoration today. Anyway, we are a gimp bunch. Please pray for our healing. Also, if you would, I have a meeting Wednesday in Tyler with my company. I need to be very healthy and have excellent memory. Both of these are rare for me right now. Will you please pray that I will feel much better tomorrow and not experience any episodes or memory issues?

Thank you all so much!!!