Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy New Year!

We are sitting here on the couch, watching the ball drop...

We are celebrating on the couch because Ben is still pretty sick from his chemo on Friday. We thought he was better today, but as I was in the shower getting ready for church, he came in and told me he was sick again. Poor guy. So, we've just hung out, paid bills, did nine loads of laundry, etc., today.

Hopefully, he will wake up in 2007 and feel much better.

We think we may have diagnosed all that I've been dealing with since April. I didn't have an episode yesterday or today. Then, this afternoon I was hurrying to get some laundry switched and started to have one. I went to the store and came home and started making dinner and started to have another one. So, we decided that it must have something to do with my activity level since we've been able to just relax for the last two days. Then, Ben reminded me that when I went back to the doctor this last week (doctor #10), he said that I have RBC (red blood cell) Rouleau which means that my red blood cells stack on each other. So, my body isn't getting adequate oxygen, etc. Thus, many explanations began to pour forth. I start my treatments next week and so I'm hoping we'll see some changes soon.

Praise the Lord!! Granny is home now! The doc released her today and so she gets to sleep in her own bed tonight. She was worried that her bird, Danny, was going to be mad at her for being gone for so long.

Thank you all for your prayers...Happy 2007!!!!! May it bring you health, joy, & a realization of how awesome our Savior is!!!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Craziness

Well, yesterday didn't go as I would have planned it. ; )

They decided to keep Granny longer in the hospital which is good. They were just going to keep her in ICU overnight Thursday and send her home Friday. However, they decided to move her to a regular room on Friday so that she could get more PT, etc. After Ben's chemo, we all (Ben's parents, brother, & the two of us) went to the hospital to see Granny. She really enjoyed the company. She told us that she really didn't think she was going to survive the surgery and that she thought God smiling at her was Him saying, "come home!" Glad I didn't know that prior to her surgery. Oh, the wreck I would have been...She did ask the surgeon during the procedure if she was in Heaven. He said that's the last thing a surgeon wants to hear. She also asked us while she was in recovery if she was in Heaven. I told her the nurse was pretty, but I had a feeling the surroundings of Heaven was much more beautiful than the gurney she was on...!!

After we went to see Granny yesterday, we went to dinner at PF Changs with Ben's family. Ben was feeling a bit yucky at this point. However, we had an enjoyable dinner and then came home. When we were almost home, Ben was feeling super terrible. Within a few minutes of being in the door, we had a repeat of last time. He got so sick. Again, vomiting blood (and dinner). I know, Too Much Information. So, instead of calling EMS, we called the doc. The doc told us that if it happened again we needed to go to the ER. The doc wrote a script for Ben that he was supposed to get prior to chemo, but he wrote orders wrong and so Ben didn't get it...thanks! So, I had to race out last night and get his script filled before he got sick again and we had to go to the ER. Amazingly, CVS said that every other patient there was on their way to the ER if their script wasn't filled. Anyway, he's taking the meds now.

Ben's parents and brother left this morning. We heard from Granny this morning and she's not feeling very well & her face has started to swell a little bit. The doc should be in later today and we'll get an update...

Thank you all so much for your prayers!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

God smiled at her...

Well, today was an absolutely crazy day.

I had my follow up appt. with my doc to figure out these episodes that I've been having since April (they have been getting worse and more frequent). My grandmother had surgery today to clean out her Left Carotid that was 90-95% occluded.

The Nurse Practitioner didn't give me a real answer, but apparently my red blood cells are stacked which is a sign of an immune deficiency, etc. There are also some signs of liver stress. They have prescribed weekly IV therapy and some other stuff in hopes that we will see some good results. However, there is not an actual diagnosis. So, we'll see...

Granny's surgery was crazy to say the least. She was going in for a quick clean out of the carotid. She was only going to have IV sedation. The doc said he wouldn't do the surgery if she had to do general anesthesia because he didn't believe she would survive. Anyway, he went in to start the clean up and her artery was really hard. So, once he found a soft spot to cut into he tried to fold the artery back. The inside of the artery wall should be smooth. He said hers looked like shag carpet. If he left it like that, she would have a dramatically increased risk of clots, etc. So, he took a piece of Teflon tubing to create a bypass. In his words, one surgery turned into three. The suspected two hour surgery took four hours and 45 minutes. All of this was under IV sedation! Wow! The doc and anesthesiologist are amazing!!!

Granny has a direct line to the Lord...it's unbelivable. When she prays, she knows he is going to answer her prayer if she sees the Lord smile. When Ben was first diagnosed, she said she saw the Lord's back. Then, one day as she was praying for his healing, she saw Him smile. Well, I was a wreck this morning worried sick about her surgery. I kept trying to pray and just kept bawling. I finally reached my Mom and she told me that Granny saw God smile when she prayed about her surgery. Thank you, Lord! So, she's healing well in the ICU.

Thank you all for your prayers!

Please be in prayer for Ben's chemo Friday! Remember he got super sick last time and we had to call EMS. So, we are praying that he does better this time!

Thank you for all of your prayers! We love you and your prayers!

because of HIM,

Meredith

Monday, December 25, 2006

Long Overdue...

Well, Merry Christmas and forgive me for this being so long overdue...

All is well in the Fox household now. Ben is much better. You would never know that he had been ill. He looks healthy and wonderful. I feel so privileged to have been given the opportunity by the Lord to see the power of prayer! Each of your prayers for Ben's health have been heard...he is so much better.

We had my entire family over today and Ben's parents were here, as well. We had over 20 people here and it was a blast! Hank had so much fun with the little ones. He gave out lots of kisses today. He is already fast asleep. He's usually awake and wanting to play at this time of the night, but he has been fast asleep. Such a cutie...




Sleeping the night away...



Ben's parents made the trip from Philly this morning and will be here all week. We're looking forward to spending some good time with them.

A few prayer requests & praises:

Praises...
Our friends David & Kim that are adopting from Russia got the 10 days waived and are home with baby Abbey! Praise Jesus as there was no earthly way for this to occur...she said it was so obvious that it was supernatural. Thank you, Lord.

Prayers...
*Ben's continued health. He has chemo again this Friday and we want him to be healthy like he has been with every other treatment except this last one.
*Ben's hand is in a considerable amount of pain. We don't know if he has an infection or if it is a result of the chemo from last time. Please pray with us that it heals quickly.
*My Granny is going in for surgery on Thursday. Her carotid artery is over 85% occluded and so they need to go in and clean it...She is a bit nervous about the surgery. It's important for her to be calm through the surgery as she will be aware through the entire procedure (apparently a new type of surgery).
*I go back to the doctor (doc #10) on Thursday to see if they can find an explanation for these episodes I've been having since April.
*Decisions on the part of the oncologist about how many more treatments Ben should have...his prayer and hope are that he only has four total vs. six total. We have yet to get a straight answer from anyone. Obviously, if he can have less chemo with great results, that is what we would prefer.

Thank you all for your faithful prayers! None of us can doubt the power of prayer after the miraculous healing we've seen in Ben. Thank you, Jesus, and thank you prayer warriors!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Send up the Prayers!

Hey guys!

We need to ask for your prayers tonight. Ben started Round #3 of his chemo today. He wasn't feeling very well during chemo. On the way home, he felt awful. We were commenting on how he wasn't behaving at all the way he usually does after chemo and he was quite pale! We had reservations for dinner at about 7p. So, about 6:30p he was brushing his teeth and I heard a terrible noise. When I got to him, he was vomiting excessively and there was blood in it. He continued to vomit for about 10 min. and the blood continued. So, we called 911. The Rockwall EMS guys are awesome! They came over, made sure he was okay, and offered to transport Ben to the hospital if he needed it. We chose not to since he was feeling better. They also loved on Hank, our Sheltie. One of the guys asked Hank if he was "kissing cousins with Reveile!" Here's a pic of my boys!!



I called my Mom first and she immediately jumped in the car and ran to get Chicken Noodle Soup, knowing that's what he would need when it was all said and done. The main concern is a GI bleed. So, we will monitor him tonight. The hope is that it was just a blood vessel that burst while he was vomiting. The good thing is that his Platelet count and Hemoglobin were high or normal meaning that anemia and blood clotting ability are not concerns.

So, he has eaten his chicken noodle soup and had about a quart of Gatorade. Now he is laying on the couch resting and watching a little TV.
Please be in prayer for his quick healing as he does not like being sick (duh!!)!! He's just not used to it and so it's a little harder to handle.
Thank you all for your prayers! We know they are powerful as he is Cancer FREE!!!!

Monday, December 11, 2006

White Rock Marathon!

This is so cool! Haley Birkelbach, one of Ben's friends from T Bar M, did the White Rock 1/2 Marathon. She walked it in his honor (super pregnant, too)!! Isn't this the coolest thing ever...she walked this two days after we found out that Ben is Cancer FREE!!!

Here is a copy of the letter that she sent to everyone:


I want to thank each of you, so much, for contributing to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society on my behalf for yesterday’s ½ Marathon . My team raised over $25,000 to find a cure for Leukemia and Lymphoma, and thanks to all of you, I contributed to $1,600 of that! THANK YOU!!!

Most of you know that I was walking on behalf of Ben Fox, who was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma not long after I signed up for the ½ Marathon to train with Team in Training. While we trained each week for the race, Ben was undergoing
chemotherapy and treating his cancer. His faith and commitment to our Lord during this time was unbelievable and as God would have it, Ben found out this past Friday that he is CANCER FREE!!! What an amazing God we serve!

Thanks to all of you who committed to praying for him and his wife and I ask that you continue to do so. Please check out their blog at http://psalm112-survivor.blogspot.com/ to stay posted and to be challenged by Ben and Meredith’s faith and commitment to our amazing Savior.

This has been quite an amazing experience and one I will never forget. It felt amazing to cross the finish line and I could not have done it without your support and contribution, so THANK YOU so much for your generosity. You are helping find a cure for all who are affected by these diseases, and for that I am grateful.

Thanks again!

Haley

What a stud she is!!

We are so honored and humbled by this!

Everytime I look at this picture of her shirt, I bawl my eyes out! Such a precious friend!!

More pics...

With her hubby, Zack!

Look at that awesome pregnant belly and she did a half marathon! Holy Wow!!

That's her in the purple, this is like Mile 8 or 9 (I would have called for a taxi by now)!

Wow, Haley!!



Haley with her friend Marcy who ran the thing...Wow, again!

Thank you all for sharing in our joy of Ben's healing! He still needs prayers as he has a lot more chemo to go...next one is this Friday.

I haven't really stopped crying as the joy is just welling up inside of me and it's got to go somewhere! Praise the Lord, great things He has done!!

Friday, December 08, 2006

HE'S CANCER FREE!!

Praise Jesus!

Well, we have just left the doctor's office and Ben is CANCER FREE! All praise be to Jesus. There is no detectable cancer anywhere on any of the scans. Yippee!! God is so good! If you don't believe in God and His healing...rethink that because He is so powerful and HE ALONE has healed my husband!!


Here is a picture of my cancer FREE husband right after we got the news. Tears still flowing down my face!

Thank you all for your prayers through this crazy time.

This is the doc that gave us the great news, Dr. Neelapu.



We will continue chemo...four more rounds (which is eight treatments, every other week). The doctor here said that studies continue to show the importance of finishing the treatment to see lasting results. He did tell us that this is quite rare for it to disappear so quickly!! We know that rare means GOD can heal!!! Praise Him!
Now, for some celebration lunch & back home!!!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

M.D. Anderson

Wow! What an amazing time we've had. Yesterday we arrived around 1pm and started with blood work. Then, Ben went to have his PET Scan. Basically, they inject radioactive glucose. Tumors like glucose (it's their #1 fuel) and so they soak it up and become visible on the scan. Then, we went to have the CAT Scan. He had to drink 3 cups of Barium for that...Yummy!! So, we finally left last night around 8pm and went straight to Ninfa's where we ate more than we should have. So good, though. A lot better than the barium.

Our sweet friends, Sarah & Nick, who are staying at our house right now, allowed us to stay at their house out here. So, we went to their house & fell asleep almost immediately.

Our morning started fairly early as Ben was supposed to come have accupuncture! Pretty cool that MD Anderson recommends accupuncture & does it on site. However, they called us on our way here to tell us that his white count was too low to do the accupuncture. It was 2.5 & needed to be 3+. So, we came back to do labs again, praying that it increased. It did, but only to 2.6. So, we've missed the opportunity to do accupuncture here, but hope to find a way to get it done once we get home.

Tomorrow at 9:30a is Ben's appt. to find out if the cancer is, in fact, GONE!! So, please be in prayer that there is nothing left! We will give you all an update as soon as we know something! Please continue to pray for him!!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The lessons we can learn....

...in the silence!!

Wow! There are times that a talkative girl like me goes crazy sitting in a quiet car during the day (I have a lot of drive time to parts of my territory). However, the Lord used that time today to speak to me in a truly special way.

As most of you know, Ben has felt that he has been healed for a while now. So, it keeps getting harder and harder for him to go to chemo. It's kind of like, why do I have to take this medicine for a condition I don't have? Every time we mention chemo around him, his stomach starts to hurt.

So, today the Lord shared with me that Ben isn't going through chemo to cure the cancer, he's going through chemo for GOD'S GLORY! Then, the Lord began revealing truths to me about so many other parts of our lives. For instance, our friends, Nick & Sarah (& their 7 wk old baby girl, Claire), that are staying with us. The Lord laid it on my heart that they didn't have a child because they wanted to, but for HIS GLORY!! Same with our baby in S. Korea. We are not adopting that baby because we want to, but for His glory! I don't go to work each day because my boss requires me to, but I go for His glory. So, I shared this with Ben today & he said he definitely needed to hear that!

I just realized today that this is what each step we take is all about (maybe I'm slower than the rest of you intellectuals)...So many things in our lives seem to have a reason that makes sense & so we go with it. However, it's when you're in a situation like this, with chemo despite the belief that there is no cancer, that you have to truly consider WHY you are doing something? In the end, if you are a believer in Christ, you are doing it for Him!!

We leave in a few hours for M.D. Anderson....say LOTS of prayers!!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Round 2 complete...ding ding ding!!

Yippee!! Praise the Lord! We have completed Round #2 of chemo! Thank you, Jesus!

Only four rounds to go, which is eight more treatments. He's already had four. So, we're a third of the way complete! Yeah!! His left hand is doing a little better. Last time (Treatment #3), the nurse ran the DTIC (one of his chemo drugs) too quickly. That caused the vein to be burnt which is apparently a permanent thing. So, his hand was swollen for about two weeks with a reddish/purple streak running up his arm. His hand was so sensitive to any type of contact. It's a little bit better and he can put his hands in his pockets without wincing! So, thank you, Lord, for healing.

Also, his white counts and Absolute Neutrophil Count (ANC) were actually higher this last time than they've ever been. Praise the Lord! Ben has been taking a bunch of supplements which we know are helping him. He is also taking a product called Cantron that a physician in Rockwall and a friend of ours both took and were cured of their cancer, one never did chemo or radiation, only Cantron. Ben hasn't been very consistent with the Cantron throughout his treatment. However, over the last two weeks he has been very consistent. He firmly believes that is what made the dramatic impact on his lab values!! We are so grateful to our friend, Sheri, that gave us the rest of her bottle of Cantron (it's very expensive) to get Ben started! She's blessed us by saving us money and offering healing for my husband!!

The exciting news for us is that we leave on Wednesday to go to MD Anderson! This is big because this is when they will do the CAT Scan & the PET Scan to determine if there are any more detectable cancer cells. We firmly believe that Ben is healed. However, the medical field still has to do their stuff to comfort themselves. Our sweet friends Sarah, Nick, & Claire are moving to Dallas, but their house is on the market in Houston. So, we will be staying at their house while we are there. It is such a blessing to not have to worry about expenses at hotels.

Ben is feeling a little yucky right now. I think he tries to be tough, but feels like crud. His stomach is driving him crazy. It feels incredibly full even when he's many hours post meal. His stomach is sensitive to the touch. So, I have to be careful with cuddles!! ; )

Praise: Over the last two months I have felt the Lord give me a new passion and determination at work. Despite all the craziness going on, I have had more focus while working and feel like I'm working smarter. We got our numbers in and it's paid off...in October, we had the greatest growth we've had since I joined the team! Thank you, Jesus! So, that was very exciting to see!! That will also be a blessing when bonuses are paid out.

Also, please pray for our friends, The Johnson's. They are adopting baby Abbey Elena from Russia. They leave on the 15th to go get her. They are praying that the judge will waive the 10-day waiting period that Russia has. Most judges waive this as it's not required & there is no real reason for it. However, they got the tough judge that rarely waives it. God has been so faithful to reveal scripture to Kim about how to approach the judge & how to pray. So, we are all praying in Faith that the 10-days are waived. If it wasn't waived, they would have to leave Abbey there for another month as Russia has a lot of holidays that cause the government to shut down until early January. So, the prayer is that the 10-days will be waived and they will bring Abbey home on Christmas Eve!! Please pray with us that the judges heart will be softened and the 10-days will be waived.

We are so overwhelmed by your precious support and prayers. Thank you for loving us!!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Urgent, Urgent Prayer Request

Well, I get sad that my husband is undergoing chemo & then I receive this e-mail from my best friend in the whole world (other than Ben), Mikele. Please pray for this family & let me know if you can help with beds/mattresses & I'll get the info over to her.

Hello friends,
I wanted to write and ask you to pray for a dear family, the Taylors, that I have grown up with. Their youngest son, Nathan (24 years old), was in Oregon visiting family when he and a friend decided to go out fishing for a few hours. They were in a small boat that was capsized by 2 waves that hit them unexpectedly. The boat was too far from shore for the two guys to swim, and due to the frigid temperature of the water, Nathan lost consciousness before help could reach them. His friend tried desperately to keep him above water, but the weight of their bulky clothes and the hypothermia that had already set in prevented his friend from keeping Nathan afloat. The Search and Rescue team tried desperately to find Nathan, but they knew that unless they could find him immediately, there was no chance that he would be alive. The team searched for hours, but were not able to find his body. They called off the search once the sun set, but the Taylor family and friends continued their own search. Nathan’s body was found by his father, brother and sister that night, more than 8 hours after he went missing. Nathan leaves behind a wife and a 3-month old son. Please pray for Nathan’s family, that they will find supernatural comfort in the Father’s arms. This tragedy has hit everyone hard, and I can’t imagine the shock of this loss for his family. By God’s grace, they can rest in the knowledge that Nathan is in the Lord’s presence, and that they will be united with him again one day.

The funeral will be held in Oregon on Friday, but Nathan and his wife lived in Denton . We will be holding a memorial service for Nathan here in Dallas on Saturday, December 9th.

There are many people who will be coming in for the service, and I wanted to see if any of you know of extra beds that might be available for me to borrow for the weekend. I have 3 bedrooms in my new house that are not being used yet, and I would really like to open up my house for people to use for the weekend, but I don’t have any beds in the rooms. If any of you have extra beds that I could borrow, would you please let me know? My dad has a truck that we could use to transport the beds, and I could have it back to you as soon as the guests leave. Any help you could provide would be so appreciated.

Thank you for being a part of the amazing Body of Christ! It is times like these when we realize how important it is to have this incredible support system around us. Thanks for your prayers for this family.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, after 3+ years of marriage, I found out yesterday that Thanksgiving is Ben's absolute favorite! He loves Turkey & Stuffing! I've never seen so much excitement from him!! This is his favorite Thanksgiving Song! Please oblige him and view the fun!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JsILdSZf-0

To back up a little bit...this has been a really rough week. After cutting down the tree, Ben exhausted himself too much. Every ounce of energy in his body needs to go toward healing and he put way too much toward cutting down the tree. So, he was flat on his back most of Sunday, Monday, & Tuesday. Yesterday, he got up and had breakfast about 10:20am. Those of you that know Ben well, know that he should be having lunch by then he wakes up so early. So, as his wife, this has been a hard week. I'm used to Ben leaving so early for school & waking me up as he's leaving. However, all weeek, I've been waking up prior to my alarm even going off and I'm out the door before he's begun to stir. It's been hard because this is the first time that we've really seen the "cancer" affect us. He's just not had any energy & was incredibly nauseated. So, NEW RULE in our house: Ben is no longer allowed to do much manual labor. It exhausts him and doesn't allow his body to fight the way it should.

I was also sick on Monday. All this craziness that we've been trying to figure out since April with me hit a peak. They originally thought I was having seizures & the EEG said NO. So, they've continued to do testing, but once I had seen NINE physicians and Ben was diagnosed, I just said, "I don't have time to mess with this anymore." The "episodes" have continued to effect me, but I've done my best to ignore it. On Monday, my body said I couldn't ignore it. I was so nauseated & sick that I couldn't move either. So, I wasn't much help to Ben on Monday. I was eventually able to get on line and do some reasearch to try to figure out what could be going on...I think I may have figured some of it out & I ordered some supplements from a doctor out here. I got them Monday night and haven't had any episodes since...Praise the Lord!!! So, now it's back to Ben!!

Anyway, he woke up this morning feeling much better! Thank you, Jesus! Just in time for some Turkey, huh?

So, everyone enjoy turkey today! I am most grateful for my precious husband today and our Heavenly Father that gives us strength to fight this battle!! Give your family an extra hug today...

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Quick Updates

Well, today was a bit rougher than yesterday. I think Ben worked himself too hard being a wilderness man, cutting down the tree. He woke up this morning and was unable to move due to feeling so sick. His joints were also bothering him, which is a side effect of the chemo, but could also be the hard work yesterday. Anyway, he was pretty bad this morning. The worst I've ever seen him. I made him a flat egg and he was able to eat that. However, I also made him world's greatest smoothie and he couldn't get much of that down.

I think Ben has missed church in his life maybe twice and I think it's 'cause he was at T Bar M, a Christian Sports Camp. However, he missed this morning. He just felt so yucky. It was very weird going to church without my hubby by my side. Especially since we started a marriage series in Sunday School! "Turn to your spouse and discuss..." That was a bit odd, but I managed. We also found out that his nurse on Friday burnt his vein. She allowed the DTIC (one of the meds) to pump through too quickly. It has a tendency to burn if that happens. So, he has a red streak starting in the middle of his hand and working it's way up his arm. It's also swollen considerably. So, the doc called in some meds for that and nausea today.

So, after church, I wanted to find something to help Ben's stomach. He said he thought he could eat Chicken Noodle Soup. So, I was off on a quest....Culver's...NO; Schlotzky's...NO; Wendy's...NO; Chick-fil-A...CLOSED; So, finally, I went to Luigi's, a local Italian restaurant. All they had was minestrone, but he threw in extra noodles and Chicken!! So, when I finally made it home (around 1:30pm), Ben actually ate two bowls worth. Then, about an hour or so later, he had another bowl! Yeah! He's eating even though he feels yucky!

Finally, tonight, we had some special friends over. Our friends, David & Kim, are adopting Baby Abbey (Elena) from Russia. They have already made their first trip over, but their second trip has been delayed by Russia. They also got a judge that isn't known for being the kindest on the block. After your court date, there is a 10-day waiting period in Russia before you can take your baby home. The 10 days is a formality and most judges wave it. However, this guy isn't known for waving it. They are scheduled to leave Dec. 15th to go get her. That means they won't be able to come home until after Christmas since the Russians celebrate American & Russian holidays. So, they would be able to leave the province Abbey is in on the 25th & then be stuck in Moscow till after the beginning of the year (somewhere around January 6th) when they come back from the holidays. They have a two, almost three year old daughter, Emily, that would be here all that time. So,the big prayer is that the judge will have an unusual change of heart and he would wave the 10-days!! Please, Lord! So, we had a little prayer time at our house tonight for them. We had some sweet friends from our Sunday School class that also came over to lift them up in prayer! It was a special time!

While they were here, Ben got hungry again!! Thank you, Lord! So, he finished off the soup! YEAH!!! He is super tired & ready for me to get in bed...so, I'm going to end.

Please be in prayer for:

*Ben & his stomach and arm, as it is really tender.
*our friends, David, Kim, Emily, & Abbey
*Dan Jennings, the father of a friend. He has colon cancer.

Thank you all for loving on us and lifting us up to our Heavenly Father!

Goodnight!!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

All kinds of updates

Well, all kinds of fun stuff has occured since we started waiting yesterday for chemo to begin...

We posted that we were still waiting & then had a friend of ours from church & the adoption ministry e-mail us to let us know she was praying. I later replied to her and told her that because of the wait, we had a very special opportunity. Out of the chemo rooms, a man walked with his son that looked Korean. We got excited and kept trying to get the man's attention without attracting the son, too. We never felt comfortable enough to call him over and ask if his son was adopted. However, a few minutes later a lady came walking in with two daughters that appeared to be Chinese. The girls stopped to look at the fish tank and the lady walked toward us. So, I stopped her and told her that we were adopting a baby from S. Korea and saw her children and wondered if they were also adopted. She was such a sweet woman & both her girls are Chinese & their son (the youngest) is Korean. She said that she brought him home Christmas Eve and it was the most beautiful, amazing experience EVER! Had we gone back for chemo at the right time, we never would have met this precious family!! So, I e-mailed our friend back to tell her about meeting them & she had specifically prayed that the Lord would reveal to us why we were having to wait! Praise Him that He answers prayers & that we have friends that take the time to lift us up specifically!!

Speaking of precious friends, one of the guys from our Sunday School class came over this morning to help Ben cut down the tree in the backyard. Ben had started the process and the chainsaw he was borrowing broke. So, he had to stop halfway through the process. Andy has been over here half the morning working his tail off to help us get the tree down. Ben is having to be super careful since he just had chemo yesterday & that makes him incredibly susceptible to infection. So, he had to wear a surgical mask while he was out there. Here are pictures of their progress so far. They've just left to go to Home Depot and buy an ax so that they can get the stump out of the ground! Wow! Andy, Thank you & may the Lord bless you for loving on us and working so hard to help us today!!

Working Hard!!



BONFIRE Anyone??!!



The remaining tree stump!!

Finally, we noticed when we woke up this morning that Ben had some hair on his pillow. Then, he noticed he had some in his mouth (yucky!). So, when he went in to the bathroom this morning to straighten his hair, he put a little water on his hands and ran it through his hair...he had a handful. We assume this means the hair loss is beginning. He can tell that a few spots look like they have less hair. I asked him if he was going to get a haircut, shave it, or what? He said he didn't really know and he'd figure it out later. It's obviously not affecting him that much! Such a stud and trooper! Though a tad bit morbid, I thought this was sweet today. When we were laying in bed, fighting waking up, Ben turned to me and said that if he was to die, he wants to give his eyes to his brother. He found out this week that his brother needs a cornea transplant. So, he said he wants to make sure that Tim gets his eyes if anything happens! NOTED!! Such a sweet giving man I'm blessed to be married to....

Friday, November 17, 2006

Prayers!!

Well, we are still sitting here waiting to go back to Chemo. The lab is behind today b/c their computer is broken. So, we have been delayed considerably. I'm sitting here doing some work & I just got this e-mail from a friend in our Sunday School class. Please be in prayer for them.

Ya'll, one of our kindergartners lost his dad last night. The mom woke up this morning and found him dead in the living room. He was 34 and they have a 9 mon old, 2 year old, and a kindergartner. The mom called a neighbor to take the kids, and the little boy was sent to school. I just had him in my class (he doesn't know yet) and it was so hard thinking that his life will change forever when he goes home this evening. So, I'm asking that we all keep the Cheek family in our prayers. They think the death was heart related. Thanks.
Beth

Chemo #3 of 12

Well, I was able to get a quick internet connection while waiting in a doctor’s office. So, I thought I would give y’all a quick update!

Today is Chemo #3 of 12 Total. So, after today, we are ¼ of the way complete! Praise Jesus! Especially since he’s already healed…we’re ready for this to be over.

He also has a doctor’s appt. today which should be nice to get a few more answers.

His chemo is today at 1p. So, for those of you that check this regularly & may see this before then, you can pray for him at 1pm. We are hoping that today goes a little faster than last time. We think last time took longer b/c they did it in his left hand & he seems to pump faster with the right one…so, we should be in the right hand today.

Ben has done so well these last two weeks. I think that knowing what to expect helped him to get through the side effects a little bit better this last time. He still had them, but seemed to handle them much better. He didn’t miss any school at all. Such a trooper…

So, please be in prayer that all would go well today & that he will feel better this time.

Also, for a “fun” note, he thinks that his hair is starting to fall out a little bit. He can’t beat me yet as I lose about 5 handfuls each morning in the shower & then another 4-5 while drying my hair. He was shocked when he looked in the trash can the other day & saw all of my hair from that morning. I told him I’ll have to shave my head before he will!! ; ) Ahhh, the lovely effects of stress (& we were worried about chemo).

Baby Alec is doing very well based on the last report that we received. He was breathing on his own! Thank you, Jesus.

Will you also be in prayer for our friends, David & Kim? They are supposed to be picking up their little girl, Abbey, from Russia any day now & the Russian government has delayed their trip. They also received one of the toughest judges. There is a 10-day waiting period that is usually waived (it’s just a formality), but he is apparently the only one that doesn’t waive it. This would require a lot of additional expenses for them as they would just have to sit in a hotel room for ten additional days & eat out, etc. So, please pray that they get to go soon & the judge waives the 10-days!!

Thank you all for your prayers!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Healing!!

Well, the other day I mentioned Ben's "cancer" to him & he said, "I don't have cancer anymore. The Lord has healed me!" The truth is that we are unable to feel any of the tumors anymore. However, I was still a bit skeptical! Then, this scripture was my quiet time today. Can we say conviction & have a little faith, Meredith?

Mark 5:25-42

A large crowd followed and pressed around him. 25And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. 27When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." 29Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

30At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"

31"You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?' "


32But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

35While Jesus was still speaking, some men came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue ruler. "Your daughter is dead," they said. "Why bother the teacher any more?"

36Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid; just believe."

37He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James. 38When they came to the home of the synagogue ruler, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. 39He went in and said to them, "Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep." 40But they laughed at him.
After he put them all out, he took the child's father and mother and the disciples who were with him, and went in where the child was. 41He took her by the hand and said to her, "Talitha koum!" (which means, "Little girl, I say to you, get up!" ). 42Immediately the girl stood up and walked around (she was
twelve years old). At this they were completely astonished.



When Ben and I were dating, we took a spiritual gifts test in our Sunday School class. FAITH was #1 on Ben's list & the last one on my list. MERCY was #1 on my list and last on his. So, I guess when they say that you complement one another (rather than complete one another), it's quite true! When I am weak, Ben is strong, where Ben is weak, I am strong. So, I am learning so much about Faith through Ben & this walk we're taking with the Lord! May your FAITH also be increased today!!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Amazing!!!

You are all absolutely wonderful!!

Wow!

When Ben got home tonight, he had 45 e-mails!!! He has since received another 15+!! We are overwhelmed with how precious you have all been!

When he walked in the door, he immediately laid down & took a nap. He felt awful. When he woke up, he had his favorite meal waiting for him: grilled chicken, green peas, & Uncle Ben's Wild Rice!! Followed by a cookie cake!! I think it made him feel better. ; )



Then, we had a sweet friend stop by & bring homemade chocolate chip cookies & balloons! So fun & encouraging!!

He is now finishing a term paper that is due tomorrow. It is for his virology class & he's writing it about the Epstein-Barr Virus (a.k.a. mono)! Anyway, through his research we have learned that EBV can cause Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Ben has no family history of cancer & so we learned that there are many viruses that can cause cancer. Sure enough Epstein-Barr is one of them. So, Ben is truly enjoying this class as so much of it is applicable to what he is experiencing!!

Again, thank you so much for loving on Ben, he has been so encouraged!!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Birthday Fun!!

Monday, the 6th, is Ben's birthday! Yippee!!

He has class from 10-11, but other than that, he'll be studying most of the day. If you are willing to take the time, why don't you e-mail or call him to wish him a Happy Day & let him know how many people are thinking about him & praying for him!!

I know he will be greatly encouraged!

You are all such a blessing to us & he is such a blessing to me that I want him to know that we are all celebrating him!!!

Thank you!!

Also, here are some pics that I took of him this weekend!!

This is him cutting down the tree in our backyard...

This is just a fun pic so that you can see how great he looks after two chemo treatments!!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Chemo #2 here we come

I will not die, but I will live to tell what the Lord has done."
Psalm 118:17 NLT

Well, here we are in Sammons tower. They are doing his first infusion, which is adriamycin. It's the red one. He's dancing in his chair needing to go to the bathroom (thanks to the adriamycin).

Ok, now they've just completed the Vinblastine.

We are to the last one now. It has taken longer today than it did last time. We don't know if there's a reason for it. Last time took a little more than an hour, we have already hit the two
hour mark with this one. However, Ben is quite entertained as he is watching the Blues Brothers on our computer!!

His nurse today, Mary is very sweet & knows her stuff. There is another nurse here that has been Hodgkin's free for 16 years, Patsy. She's a lot of fun. She came over & introduced herself
& encouraged us that Hodgkin's is so incredibly curable...90% cure rate now a days.

Ben's white count was REALLY low today & so they are putting him on Levaquin, a broad-spectrum antibiotic, since they want to fight all that he could possibly catch. So, we are going to need to avoid major public settings for a little bit.

The nurses here are a lot of fun. They know that I'm in pharma sales since I challenged the Levaquin Rx making sure it was exactly what he needed. They are all encouraging me to go into Oncology sales. I may have to check into what the company has to offer, but I would hate to leave my amazing manager & great team!! So, we'll have to see. The Lord would have to set the position in my lap, I think.

Anyway, the computer is about to die, so I'm going to hurry and finish this.

Please pray for:

*Ben's blood counts as they are a little off the charts & we would love for them to stabilize a bit more.
*Ben to not catch any bugs that are going around while his immune system is down.
*Baby Alec-some friends of ours have a friend that delivered her baby early & he swallowed some meconnium a few days prior to his birth. He was transferred to Children's &
is now on a CardioPulmonary Bypass Machine to give his heart & lungs a break while the meconnium clears out. Mom was discharged today & so she gets to go see her baby for the first time since delivery.
*Mom-she's been a little sick the last few days.

We love you all & Praise the Lord that you sit at our Father's feet in prayer for Ben!!

because of Him,

Meredith

p.s. Ben is wearing his "not I but Christ" shirt today! He has already had multiple people comment on it! Such sweet staff members & believers here!!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Conviction

Well, I was convicted today. Have you ever gone to church and just known that the Lord developed the sermon or lesson just for you? That was today for me.

Today was all about faith. About trusting in things unseen, much like my plea yesterday. "Why can't I just see a glimpse of His plan?"

One of my sweet friends reminded me of the cross stitch analogy. That sometimes all we see is the underside with the knots, unexpected color changes, etc., & we can't see the beautiful masterpiece on the front.

The sermon this morning talked about being Driven to Serve which allowed me to take the focus off of me and my selfishness. This prepared my heart to hear the lesson in Sunday School. Our lesson was from Hebrews 11. I encourage you to get out your bible and read it or click on the link to read it online. Wow!

Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. -So, we don't need visible proof to trust in the Lord & His plan.

Hebrews 11:2
This is what the ancients were commended for. -God rewards our faith.

Hebrews 11:3
By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.-God's Word, the Bible, His command, is what formed the universe out of unseen things. Therefore, we can rely on His perfect Word to guide us through what we can't see (my biggest problem)!!

Today we also discussed all of the heroes of the Bible that trusted in the Lord without seeing anything. Such as Noah. It had NEVER rained, yet the Lord told him to build a massive ark and fill it with animals. How absolutely crazy would people think we were if we did something of the sort? However, he had faith & a holy fear that the Lord had called him to it and so he obeyed. He didn't wait to see the rain to start building it.

We also discussed how there is a misconception that being a follower of Christ means that your life will be rosey! It's actually quite the opposite. We can look through the Word of God and see many that had great faith and obedience, that lost their lives, their families, etc. Even Jesus, who lived a perfect life on this earth, He still faced death on a cross and was brutally beaten, as well. So, needless to say, I was quite convicted today that I don't need to see God's plan to know that He cares for me and has a plan for me.

We also discussed how it's all about perspective! One of the guys in our class was discussing joy in sufferings and brought up James 1:2. He reminded us all of Ben's perspective about his cancer. When Ben first told our Sunday School class that he had cancer, the words out of his mouth were, "I'm looking forward to this!" Wow! What perspective and what amazing lessons I can learn from my husband!

Here is some of James 1:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord James 1:6-7

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

So, back to the lesson yesterday, that perseverance, character, and hope, are all apparently being developed in me. I just hope that I can have Ben's attitude from here on out, that I'm looking forward to the trials ahead of me as opportunities to give God the glory.

I received this in an e-mail tonight:

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

In closing:

Hebrews 11: 24-27
By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible.

What a challenge to me and to you to look ahead to our reward (eternity with Christ), rather than focus on the pleasures of this world!!

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Oh baby!!

Well, my mantra today has been, "I know it's part of God's plan, but I'd just like to see a glimpse of His ultimate plan so I know why I'm enduring all of this!"

Today has been a bit frustrating (emotional, maybe). A few of you know that the doctors allowed us to put off Ben's chemo for a few weeks so that we could try to get pregnant. Reason being, due to the chemo, we can not try to get pregnant for at least a year after his treatments are over because it can remain in his body for that long & cause serious birth defects. So, they gave us one shot & my doctor gave me meds to take to increase our chances & then an injection to make sure my body did exactly what it was supposed to do (I'm sparing y'all the medical terms b/c I know there are men that read this that don't care for those details). Well, apparently a baby isn't a part of God's plan for us right now. Probably good for my manager since I've already been out so much with being sick earlier this year and now Ben's stuff and he's been so supportive. So, we're not pregnant. As much as that would add a "stress" to all that is going on, it was quite disappointing to not be...

So, I moped a bunch today that we're not pregnant, my husband has cancer, and Ben was invited to go to the A&M/Baylor game (no fair)!! Come on, I worked for the athletic department at A&M. Surely I enjoy football more than him and should have been there. Anyway, he is hopefully driving back right now from Waco as the Aggies beat Baylor 31-21.

Despite the pity party that I've been throwing for myself today, I have received some precious encouragement from friends. One friend e-mailed me that she had been praying for us and followed it up with this scripture:

...through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.Romans 5:2-4


So, I'm assuming this means the Lord is producing perseverance, character, & hope in me. Why does it have to be so hard and yucky?

Anyway, Ben is doing very well. He seems to have an ache in his stomach every morning and then it works its way out as the day progresses. His fingers are still numb, but he's learning to not be too annoyed with it. Otherwise, he's doing great. He got his hair trimmed on Friday and turns out that his barber lost her husband to cancer and so Ben was able to have a great discussion with her. He said it was the best hair cut he'd ever had!

Ben also got to spend some time with our Congressman, Ralph Hall, on Friday. It was a special time for him as Congressman Hall's first question for Ben was, "How are we going to beat this?" Anyway, he showed precious concern for Ben and told him that he thinks about him everyday and is praying for him. So precious that despite an election & running the country he takes time to remember Ben, pray for him, and show concern! Please pray for his wife Mary Ellen as she is suffering from severe Parkinson's and is fed through a tube now.

Thank you all for listening to my ramblings today. Hopefully, we all have more perseverance, character, & hope! Here is some scripture that has encouraged me tonight!!

...that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.
Romans 1:12

2 Corinthians 7
Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.
Paul's Joy
Make room for us in your hearts. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have exploited no one. I do not say this to condemn you; I have said before that you have such a place in our hearts that we would live or die with you. I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds.
For when we came into Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn—conflicts on the outside, fears within. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort you had given him. He told us about your longing for me, your deep sorrow, your ardent concern for me, so that my joy was greater than ever.
Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while—yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. So even though I wrote to you, it was not on account of the one who did the wrong or of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. By all this we are encouraged.
In addition to our own encouragement, we were especially delighted to see how happy Titus was, because his spirit has been refreshed by all of you. I had boasted to him about you, and you have not embarrassed me. But just as everything we said to you was true, so our boasting about you to Titus has proved to be true as well. And his affection for you is all the greater when he remembers that you were all obedient, receiving him with fear and trembling. I am glad I can have complete confidence in you.

My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.
Colossians 2:2-3

Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain,...
Hebrews 6:17-19

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Humility

Well, I've learned quite a bit about humility over the last few days. As most of you know, I struggled selfishly with not getting much attention on my birthday. However, this scripture was part of my quiet time yesterday:

"Therefore anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven."
Matthew 18:4 NLT


We also got an e-mail from some friends of ours that are adopting a little girl, Abbey, from Russia. They just got back from their first trip to see her. When I read all that Abbey's little life has been like & realized that she won't have anyone around to wish her a Happy Birthday this year, I was completely humbled & felt like a big jerk. So, the Lord once again used adoption to touch my life & convict me.

Enough about me. On to the reason you are here:

Ben

He is doing okay, but still feels yucky. Our former neighbor, who is a physician, called to check on Ben the other day. When I told her that he wasn't feeling well, she said, "Remind him that this means the chemo is working!" What an awesome encouragement for Ben!! He went into this battle saying that he didn't want to know any side effects because he didn't want to put the idea in his mind, thus creating the side effect. We also had quite a few people tell us that it would be the 3rd or 4th treatment before he would get sick. With all of that, he was quite discouraged that he wasn't feeling well! However, our friend offered the exact words of encouragement that he needed. When I shared her thoughts with him over dinner, his exact words were, "I needed to hear that!" So, thank you, Michelle!

Ben missed class on Monday because he felt so bad, yesterday he didn't have any classes to go to at all (professors were out of town)! So, the man that usually wakes up before the sun slept until about noon. Then, he got up, feeling better, & helped around the house. He did about ten loads of laundry, unpacked boxes, hung pictures, etc. What a stud! So, the mornings are a bit tougher is what we're gathering! One of the side effects that he is experiencing that is more annoying to him than anything is peripheral neuropathy (a.k.a. his fingertips are numb). This is a common side effect for Vinblastine (one of his chemo drugs) which is made from a plant in the Periwinkle family!! Useless trivia!

Another friend of ours shared a secret that oatmeal helped one of her friends get through chemo! Thank you, Sonja, for the great suggestion. Ben has had oatmeal every morning since & he said it does help considerably!

Ben went to class today. He felt pretty bad when he woke up, but he forced himself to get up & get ready. He missed his first class because it just took him longer to get ready today. However, he left in time to study & go to his lab! I believe that he will have a make-up test or two tomorrow. So, please be in prayer for his studying!

The Lord just keeps placing precious people in our lives that are blessing us considerably! Our Sunday School class has signed up to bring meals to us on the days that Ben is receiving chemo. We also have a friend who works for a physician that had Hodgkins Lymphoma (like Ben, but his was more advanced). This physician has changed his practice & it is now more focused on nutrition & supplements. When Ben was first diagnosed, our friend shared Ben's story & outlook with the physician. He gifted Ben with hundreds of dollars worth of supplements. WOW! Praise the Lord!! Ben was running low on some of the supplements & so we called our friend, Diane, to see if we could get some more & to find out how much we owed. She said that these were "on her!" WOW again!! The Lord keeps amazing us with the precious hearts he places in our path. We keep getting enormous bills in the mail from the hospital, doctors, etc., & so generosity like this just continues to encourage us that God is watching out for every little detail! Thank you, Lord, & thank you, Diane, for being a vessel for the Lord!!

So, that is where we are right now! Thank you for caring enough to check in...

Prayers:

*The chemo keeps killing the cancer, but that Ben will feel well enough to do well in his classes, etc.
*Ben's studying for his tests.
*Abbey in Russia that she will receive nourishment, love, & that she will recognize her parents when they arrive. Also, that the 10-day waiting period will be waived for her new family.
*Granny (my grandmother would return to health (her BP has been fluctuating)!

Thank you all for your prayers, love, & for being vessels for Him!

We love you all!!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Quick Update!

Well, things have changed considerably since the last post, including my age. Yesterday was my b-day...yikes! It was a rough one. I'm spoiled to waking up to my Mom or my college roommates or Ben throwing presents on me & singing. Instead, Ben was sick & I got a Happy Birthday from him about an hour and a half after we woke up. After church, we went to lunch with Ben's parents & my Mom & then I went to Mom's house where she made me get in her bed & she threw presents all over me!! It was just hard to realize yesterday that I'm 28, have no kids, & my husband has cancer! Just a real reality check. So, yesterday was tough.

Today is better for me, but Ben still isn't feeling well. He stayed home from class today because he felt so yucky! He can't really pinpoint what feels bad...just that he has a wierd ache in his stomache & earlier he had a headache, too. I told him, "Welcome to the world of women where we always have a wierd ache or cramp in our stomach!" He said he thinks he gets it now! ; ) Please pray for him to feel better so that he can knock this semester out of the water with school! This is a very important semester for him.

Thank you all for your prayers!!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

1 Day Post Chemo

Well, we made the first night...

We had Mexican food last night (a little Pappasito's is apparently all you need to make the chemo go down ; )...).

Ben did so well with the chemo. He is feeling great. Though last night was a little different. We were all (Ben, his parents, & me) exhausted when we got home last night, but Ben felt great. I woke up about 6:30 this morning and realized Ben wasn't next to me. I, of course, jumped up afraid that he was sick. Not my baby!! He said he woke up with a little acid indigestion and felt like the Lord was telling him to get in the Word! So, he got up and spent some time in the Word reading Mark 4, when Jesus first started speaking in Parables. When I woke up, I called his name and he didn't answer. So, I asked our dog, Hank, "Where is Dad?" He jumped off the bed and sat at the door. So, I opened the door and sure enough Ben was sitting at the kitchen table. He said that he had great time in the Word and some awesome time in prayer! We then went back to sleep and slept until 9am! Praise the Lord!!



He feels great now! They gave him some anti-nausea medication that the nurse told him he had to take. Ben says he has no intentions of getting nauseated! That's my fighter! Anyway, I read this morning that most anti-nausea meds are better at preventing than stopping and so it's important for him to take the meds to avoid the nausea all together!!

We are about to leave to go to Knox St. and walk around with Ben's parents. We are also thinking of going to the Nasher Sculpture Gardens in Dallas. We shall see.

Anyway, it's great having Ben's parents here. Please say a prayer for Ben's Dad as he has a cold and isn't feeling well. He's so worried about getting Ben sick. So, please also pray for Ben's protection.

We are so grateful for your prayers and love! We feel it!! Wow!! God is using each of you mightily!!

Friday, October 20, 2006

CHEMO DAY!!!

Today’s entry is a combination of thoughts throughout the day. I started this when we got to the hospital & each time I had an opportunity to write something, I did. So, please forgive me if this is a bunch of random ramblings.

*****************************************************************************

We’re here! Hard to believe that this day has finally arrived. We are sitting in the lobby of the Cancer Center at Baylor waiting to be called back for labs. We’ve had a pretty eventful last few days with lots of tears of joy due to so many people with sweet, Christ-like hearts. Sorry that I haven’t had a second to sit down and write anything. I had a meeting in Tyler on Tuesday & didn’t get home until around 9pm, but I did get to see my cousin, George, who plays football for Tyler Junior College. What a precious man! He has come to know the Lord this year which brings us so much joy!! He has always had a precious heart, but with Jesus in his heart, he is even more precious! He asked me if Ben was going to lose his hair. He said that he told his Mom the night before that if he found out that Ben lost even a patch of hair, his would be gone immediately. He said, “I want to walk with him through this!!” So precious!! Let’s just say I cried most of the way home amazed by his sweet spirit. Then, on Wednesday, my boss rode with me in Athens, TX!! What a wonderful man. He has been so supportive through all of this…from me getting sick in April & us still not knowing what is going on, to Ben’s diagnosis, he has been amazing & so supportive! Please say a prayer that the Lord would shower extra blessings upon him & his family for his kindness!

Yesterday was quite amazing, as well. Early yesterday morning we received a call from a friend in our Sunday School class. She said that she knew that today would be a rough day & so she wanted to prepare a meal for us so that we didn’t have to worry about cooking. So thoughtful & selfless!! Well, all we can say is, “Wow!!” She came over last night with quite a feast! She made salad (which we packed for our lunches today), chicken spaghetti, a loaf of bread, oooey gooey brownies (be still my heart!!), blueberry muffins for this morning, & most importantly, sweet cards from her, her husband & her three children. So beautiful & selfless. She even brought me a birthday present! Her cards are full of scripture & encouragement & prayers from her children. We know the Lord hears their sweet, innocent prayers! She had cards for us to open today, specifically. So encouraging & full of scripture. She also brought Ensure incase Ben didn’t feel like eating. She took off the labels & replaced them with scriptures. Such a selfless act & such an encourager. Her spiritual gifts are quite obvious in this time. Her kids came with her & were such a precious encouragement, too. Their sweet hugs were enough to lift any spirit. We have also received some precious calls from friends in our Sunday School class, letting us know they are praying for us & reminding us of God’s strength vs. ours. What precious brothers & sisters in Christ we have….Wow!!

We are now sitting in the lobby of the infusion therapy center (chemo) waiting for them to call Ben back to start his treatments. Yeah!! We are finally here ready to start knocking this out. As much as I don’t want my husband to have to go through this, it’s so exciting to actually be here & know that we are going to start kicking this. Ben feels awesome!! He has actually gained weight since this started (quite rare) & all of his labs look better than they did last time! Praise the Lord! He’s been working out, taking supplements, & is doing so well. We are so grateful for the Lord’s protection in all of this.

My Granny is such a prayer warrior & any time that she prays & sees the Lord smile, we get a positive answer. Well, through all of this, she hasn’t been getting any smiles from the Lord. However, this morning when she sat at the feet of our Father, He smiled at her! Praise Him!!

Last night, we celebrated my birthday early since I was supposed to be out of town all next week starting Sunday (Praise the Lord, the company allowed me to cancel this trip & reschedule). Doing this caused us to miss a reunion for alumni of T Bar M Christian Sports Camp, of which Ben attended as a camper & then as a counselor (coach). It is his second home!! Throughout this entire journey, Ben has been repeating a theme from his years at T Bar M. It is:
Not I but Christ in every look and action,
Not I but Christ in every word & deed,
Not self esteem, but Christ esteem!

So, he was telling the director of camp how special this theme has been to him through this journey. Johnny, the director, came in town last night for the reunion & to see Ben. He brought Ben a very special gift…a long sleeve T-shirt from camp with this statement on the back. On the front of the shirt, it says,

NOT
I
BUT
CHRIST




What an awesome proclamation to all that Ben encounters while here. We already had one of the receptionists see it & get excited & say, “Yes, sir, Amen, that’s the truth!!” They are so much fun here & so many of them obviously love the Lord!!

Wow! What a joyful experience we just had…we are sitting in the infusion room about to start chemo & we see a cute young lady with a pink cap on covering her sweet bald head! We noticed that they were passing out confetti. Turns out that today is her last day of chemo & in the room next to her is one of her friends that she has met while here. Her friend, Donna, is actually from Rockwall & is the sister of a guy that I went to high school with…we also worked with her Mom in the nursery at our church. Anyway, today was the last treatment for each of them & they were having quite a celebration…I got to be the photographer! That was, of course, through the tears of joy that I was shedding for them! I hope the pictures turned out okay. What a blessing to get to witness this on the first day of chemo! Such precious girls, so excited, & witnessing the end result! They each had cute shirts that they changed into that said, “I survived!” My favorite could be the pins on their shirts that said, “Cancer sucks!!” Yes it does, but to God be the glory!! Please be in prayer for each of them that the cancer would stay away forever…

Well, we have officially started chemotherapy. His treatment is called ABVD. They have already given Ben the injection of the red stuff, the A (Adriamycin, also known as doxorubicin). Supposed to change the color of his urine for a day or so (I know, Too Much Information, but quite humorous)!! They have given him the nausea medication, the V, Vinblastine (made from a plant in the periwinkle family), & have started the pump with the DTIC (Dacarbazine). The D in ABVD. The B, Bleomycin will be last. Ben is watching Monty Python-Search for the Holy Grail to pass his time…nothing like British humor to pass the time. They say we have a little more than an hour left to wait here.

Ben’s parents are coming in town this weekend which should be so much fun. He hasn’t seen his Mom since this summer & they haven’t seen the new house we are in…They should already be at our house! So, it will be fun to come home to see them tonight.
We are now home & Ben KNOCKED OUT his first round of chemo!! Yeah Ben! What a trooper! He did great & apparently pumped quickly. His didn't take as long as they expected. Must be those good veins. Anyway, he did so well! Also, his nurse, Ellen, is a Christian & she's from the Phillipines. So, we enjoyed getting to know her, too! Ben's parents are here and we are headed for Mexican food!!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Is it really Friday?

Wow! It's hard to believe that the weekend is almost here. We have had a crazy, yet fun week. Ben is a superstar & had moved almost all of the house over. We had about eight big pieces of furniture & then a garage full of stuff remaining. So, on Wednesday night, the guys from our ABF (Sunday School) came over to help us move! Wow! What a precious group of guys! Can I call guys precious? Anyway, they have a growth group that meets on Wednesday nights, so instead of that, they came and helped us. I think the Lord received more glory from them coming to serve us than they might have sitting in a circle just studying God's word...they were doers of His Word! Romans 2:13 Way to live out your faith guys! Thank you! We can't begin to put in to words what a blessing they were and are to us.

We also had two of our friends that I mentioned in the blog on Tuesday, come & help us, Collin & April! They were such troopers. We had some furniture that we were going to put in a garage sale & so we needed to take it to Mom's house. When we got there, I realized that I didn't have my garage door opener...yikes! So, Collin & April helped me as we tried to break into Mom's house (we couldn't do it). I guess it's good to know that we would all be bad crooks!! Anyway, Ben came over & did a drive-by garage open!! Then, we loaded up a piece of furniture from Mom's house that we were going to put in the new house. We arrived at the new house about the time I realized that Ben also had the opener for that house, too! Lovely!! So, they were amazing being patient with my forgetfulness!! Mom told me that April even went back over to the old house & packed up most of our pantry for us! Such servant's hearts!

Wow! We have truly felt hugs from the Lord through all of these precious couples serving the Lord by helping us move! Thank you for being the arms of our Lord!!!

So, the movers came on Thursday morning (originally scheduled for Friday, today) & so Mom went over to our house to show them the few remaining things like a bird bath, Ben's grill, & some pictures still on the walls. Mom apparently picked up the bill there & so we feel so blessed that we've been able to save so much money through this process! Thank you all for the roll that you've played in this. Even those of you that are far away and couldn't be here, we know you were praying for God's provision for us! He heard your prayers!!!! Thank you so much!!

Here we are on Friday trying to finish the job. I am taking the day off & Ben's one class today is taking a test that his professor is allowing him to do next week. So, we are both here trying to get the house set up! We are about to leave to head to the old house & empty all of the remaining closets, cabinets, etc. I have a feeling it's going to take longer than anticipated!! It will be fun to get to hang with my hubby, though!

Thank you all so much for your prayers for us! You are each so precious to our hearts! Thank you, thank you. May "the Lord turn his countenance upon you & give you peace" numbers 6:26

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Sharing & Caring

Wow! I must start with a precious gift that we each received on Sunday night. Our next door neighbors have three wonderful kids. A nine year old and seven year old twins. The twins learned about Sharing & Caring in Sunday School. In response to that, they made gifts for Ben & me. They took brown paper bags and decorated them with sweet comments about caring for one another. They are both decorated with a big heart that says "caring first aid." Ben's has a picture of our dog Hank & Ben on it and also says, "I hope you get well soon." He also managed to throw in a scoreboard with a tie between the Aggies & t-sips. My bag has a picture of our neighbor "helping an old lady out of a market." So incredibly sweet and the kicker, they were filled with all kinds of yummy candy! We love our neighbors and their sweet spirits. We hope that our children will have hearts as sensitive to the Lord's teachings as these sweet neighbors'. We love them dearly and will miss them considerably when we move! We also found out tonight that they are getting two new kitties and plan to name one after our dog, "Hank!"

The Lord has made sure that we felt extra hugged today! Within minutes of each other, we recieved e-mails from two different people offering to come over and help us move. One was a friend from Rockwall that is also an Aggie. The truth is we had no idea that he even knew. However, his wife and he have been keeping up with the blog, saw the need, and listened to the Lord's calling to offer their muscles! Wow! I wish I was that responsive to the Lord! Then, we had a sweet girl from the agency that Ben used to work at (dental stuff) that said she and her supervisor were watching the blog and they saw a need and have trailers, trucks, and big brothers!! Wow! We are just humbled and feel the Lord's love for us and comforting touch through each of you!!

Ben was able to have a nice discussion with a physician in Rockwall that had a severe form of Hodgkin's Lymphoma a while back. This doc is now doing all alternative meds/nutritional supplements. I believe that we have decided to do the supplements and chemo. So, our next visit to the oncologist will be for Ben's first chemo treatment. It was scheduled for Oct. 19th. However, they ask us to push it back a day to the 20th. So, we will spend the entire day at Baylor as his first appt. is at 10:30 and his chemo will start around noon or so. Ben's parents will also arrive in town that night.

This doctor that Ben spoke with made sure to make the point that Ben's immune system is now extremely compromised. He is not to really play with any babies, go to enclosed places, etc. He told him to act like the bubble boy. We may not be that strict, but we've been trying to tell Ben that there were some things he needed to avoid and he's such a trooper, he didn't want to cut anything out of his plans!! However, this doc was able to make the point and Ben bought into it. Based on that conversation, we will not be traveling for Thanksgiving...we were originally supposed to go see Ben's parents. So, we are hoping that his brother, sister-in-law, and nephews and his parents will be able to come to our house for Thanksgiving!

Thank you all for the encouragement regarding my hair. Apparently, stress and hormones can cause hair loss and I'm not short on either right now. So, we're just praying it comes back soon!

Prayers:
*safety for Ben's parents as they travel
*safety for me as I am away on a business trip
*protection for Ben while I am away
*wisdom for Ben with his classes
*wisdom and peace for the decisions we need to make regarding chemo/radiation.
*Ben has been getting tired lately...strength for him to overcome these little things.

Praises:
*sweet friends that are wrapping their arms around us
*our Sunday School class has also offered to help us move!!
*God is faithful to heal and we trust that He will heal Ben
*You...you are each such an encouragement to us!!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Oh what a day!!

Well, I intend for this post to be short as it has been a long day and it is late. I am still trying to finish all of my work on one computer while I try to get this done on the other. Craziness! We went to the oncologist today. He said that he wasn't worried at all about Ben's pulmonary function test. He felt that the possible asthma was too minor to mention. Ben feels great. He says he actually feels better than he did prior to his diagnosis. He has been taking quite a few supplements & vitamins and he's been working out quite a bit, too! So, he feels good!

The doc, of course, told us that we could not put off chemo to try these supplements that we have found. He has told us that Ben can take the supplement while doing chemo. So, we have a lot of praying to do. Our prayer is for God's wisdom & peace about our decision. We just want to follow His leading! We have a lot of praying to do this week!

Ben's first chemo appt. was moved to Oct. 20th. That is the Friday that his parents get in town. So, hopefully, he will feel great.

Also, we are still in the process of moving and getting the house packed. We are trying to take as much over each night as possible so that we don't have to pay movers. We're trying to $$$ave$$$ave$$$ave!!

As a quick side note: I am losing my hair like crazy. Ben even noticed a difference in my scalp today. I don't know if this is thyroid, stress (what stress?), etc. related, but it would be nice to figure it out so that I have some hair left.

Thank you all for your prayers! We have a dear friend in Houston that is at 35 1/2 weeks pregnant and she went into labor at 34 wks. She was hospitalized for a few days and now she is at home with a pump to get her as far along as possible. So, please pray that Baby Claire would hold on as long as possible and that she would be as healthy as can be!!

Your prayers are so precious to us! Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you and guide you to our site each day!

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Movin' on up!!

Well, we accomplished a lot yesterday for the move! Praise the Lord! I could be married to the strongest man in the world! Holy cow! If it were up to me, I would carry a small box, but he is moving major pieces of furniture! We're thinking we might not need to pay the movers much if we can get all of this knocked out ourselves! We may leave the major appliances for them, though! Ben was a bit exhausted when we finished last night, but I don't think it had anything to do with cancer, but more with all of the hard work that he did! Seriously, all I can think to say is,"WOW!!!" He is strong, physically & mentally!! I love his drive and determination!! Inspiring!

We also spent some time today at a memorial service. I told you about my friend who lost his three year old daughter (she beat cancer, but a virus got her). Yesterday was her memorial service and it was absolutely beautiful! Little Peyton touched a lot of lives. Pastor Steve did the message at the end and it was perfectly spoken!

Today will be more of a day focused on studying & rest so that he can finish playing catch up from our time at MD Anderson. Please pray for his supernatural strength to conquer it all!

Thank you all for your prayers and love in this time!! We love you!

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, It's off to work we go...

Wow! This last week has been absolutely crazy! So sorry that we haven't written in sooner. I have had a lot of work to catch up on from our time at MD Anderson. Then, Ben has had a bunch of studying to catch up on so that he is ready for all of his tests that are coming up around the corner.

Oh, and we're moving!! Yep, you read correctly. We spent a great deal of time in prayer about what we should do...as many of you know, we move into vacant houses that aren't selling and decorate them with our furniture to help them sell. So, basically we are on a month to month lease, which is a little uneasy as we prepare for Chemo Treatments. Through prayer, we felt God telling us that we needed to find something permanent. We wrote a letter to the owner of our home asking for permission to move out. We didn't hear from him for a few days which made us nervous. However, we received a call from his real estate agent telling us that there was a contract on the house. Praise Jesus! So, the Lord has worked all of this out perfectly. Better for us to be prepared, planning to move, and then find out the house had sold, than to find out the house had sold and rush to find something. The Lord knows how much more I can handle these days and so he seems to be taking it easier on me. Thank you, Lord! So, we are moving. We are trying to do as much of it by ourselves as we can to save money. Ben is one strong guy! Wow! I'm amazed at all of the stuff he has carried out on his own.

Now, for an update on the man of the hour, the reason you are here. Ben is still doing remarkably well! He feels great and if you saw him, you would never know that he has cancer! Sometimes, I forget! Last night, we were at the RHS Homecoming game and Mom would tell someone that Ben had cancer and they would just look at him funny, as if to say, he doesn't look like he has cancer! It's so true! He appears to be healthy as a horse! He also downed an entire sausage on a stick, cheeseburger, 4 bags of chips, etc. So, he's still eating well, too!

Anyway, he had his pulmonary function test this week. It actually came back with one abnormal reading. The tech said that it may mean he has some type of obstruction. We have an appt. on Monday with the oncologist who will be able to tell us what this means. The tech did say that she didn't think it would affect his chemo treatments.

We have also learned about a supplement that has "cured" quite a few Rockwall folks! One lady was diagnosed with breast cancer and never did chemo or radiation and it's almost ten years later and she's in awesome health!! So, we should be placing our order for that in the very near future! It's expensive and not covered by insurance. So, we are trying to find ways that we can cut back on our spending to be able to cover the cost...throwing a move into the mix just tightens the budget a tad bit. However, we know the Lord provides!

Also, Ben will start his chemo on the 19th.

Ben's parents are coming to town in a few weeks! I know he is thrilled to get to see them. His dad came in town right after he was diagnosed, but he hasn't seen his Mom! So, I know he's looking forward to one of her hugs!!

I hear Ben rustling in the bedroom, waking up, so I will end this! Thank you all for your prayers! If you will take a little time today to pray for a friend of mine from high school. Today is the memorial service for his youngest daughter, who beat cancer, but had a virus that was too strong for her little body.

Prayers:

*The Johnson's on the loss of little Peyton.
*God's glory through this trial.
*Ben's continued health!
*My productivity since I have missed so much time at work.
*Wisdom with our finances.

Praises:
*Ben is still as healthy as can be...
*My manager has been so amazing and supportive through all of this
*All the love and support the Lord has sent our way through each of you!

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Facing The Giants!!

Boy do we have something great to tell you about today!

The other day, we heard about a movie created by a church called, Facing The Giants, that would actually be in theatres. So, we did a little research and found a theatre near our favorite PF Changs that was showing the movie! We went with our friends Luke & Megan & WOW!! I don't care what your plans were for the weekend, they've changed! You must go see this movie!!

To find a theatre near you that is showing the film, you can go to:
http://www.facingthegiants.com/

Don't forget that the first weekend a movie is out determines if it makes it to a second weekend! Take your kids for a matinee Saturday afternoon or grab your Sunday School class after church on Sunday! You must go see this movie!

I know it seems as if this movie has nothing to do with Ben and his cancer, but it has everything to do with it. Over and over in this movie, we were reminded that "nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37 Praise the Lord that it is not of our strength that Ben will be healed, but with the strength of the Lord! We trust in Him that nothing is impossible with Him!!

Even the making of this movie is an amazing story. A church in Georgia decided to make this movie. The lady that plays the wife of the head coach is actually the head coach's wife in real life in this small town! Each of the characters even wore their own clothes to keep costs low. The entire movie was shot in six weeks!

Anyway, I could ramble forever, but that would keep you from going to see the movie because you would be reading all day. So, GO SEE THIS MOVIE and show them that Christians do take a stand when their brothers and sisters in Christ make a movie that glorifies Him! Let's show Hollywood that movies like this can make it!! GO!! GO!! GO!!!!

P.S. Please pray for our friend Clarence today as he is facing some giants of his own as he heals from major heart surgery.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Snail Mail

Hello all!

We have received a few requests for a snail mail address to send donations to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society in honor of Ben! Wow! You are all so precious, as if praying isn't enough, you want to go and help find a cure!! Thank you!

The address that I have to send them to is Haley's home address. I'm not comfortable posting that on here. However, if you e-mail me (benmeredithfox@sbcglobal.net), I will send it to you!

Thank you for loving Ben & loving a cure!!

Humbled,

Meredith

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Walking for Ben!!

Hey guys! This is so cool & incredibly humbling! Let's just say it had me a little weepy!! We received this e-mail from a friend of Ben's today.
************************************

Dear Friends,

I am training for the Dallas White Rock Half Marathon and raising money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society as a participant in their Team In Training. I'm asking you to help by making a contribution. Each donation helps accelerate cures for leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma and brings hope to the patients and families who are on the front lines of the battle against these diseases.

At first, I signed up for this event as a way to stay in shape during my pregnancy. After a week of training, I got an email with the news that a friend of ours from T Bar M and A&M, Ben Fox, was recently diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. He has now been named my “Honored Hero” and I am participating in this marathon on his behalf. To read updates on Ben you may visit his blog at
http://psalm112-survivor.blogspot.com/.

Please use the link in this letter to help me reach my goal of $1,800. You can donate online quickly and securely. You will receive a confirmation by email of your donation and I will be notified as soon as you make your donation. Any amount you are able to contribute will help the cause.

You can learn more about my efforts and make a donation by visiting my Web site:

http://www.active.com/donate/tntntx/haleybirkel

On behalf of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, thank you very much for your support. I really appreciate your generosity!

Sincerely,


Haley Birkelbach

**************************
Be sure to check out her page and see what you can do to help out, if nothing else, pray for her pregnancy & a cure for all of this crazy cancer mess!!

Thank you all!!